I can see it is going to be difficult for me to blog regularly. It's been over a week.
It isn't that I don't THINK about it. I do. It's just that I have SO much that I want to get "out" that I feel a post will end up being completely random and skip around so much that no one would be interested in reading. Loss of interest would happen early on.
I think there's just so much going on in my head, that I have no way to organize it. But at the forefront, March 31st looms. What will I do? How will I be a "single parent" essentially? How will I be a good mother while missing my wonderful, loving husband desperately. Better figure it out. Because the world we are entering, does not ask questions like that first.
People have been asking me how Joe is holding up as his active duty date gets more real. Well, he made this decision. He initiated this life change. He is EXCITED! When one spouse/family member/significant other makes a decision to commit his life and rights to the Military, where does that leave everyone else? For all intensive purposes I will focus this point on the Miltary Spouse. Wife or Husband. I wholeheartedly believe that we are called to duty as well. We must understand that the Military and their orders come first. There is no "oh maybe I can just get of this trip" or "I'll see what I can do". "They" are the be all end all.
So when a spouse leaves, for training, deployment...anything. Why is it that the spouse and the duty that they are left with falls to the wayside? They are the ones raising the kids for the time being. Handling the homefront. Making sure things stay even and settled while the spouse/mommy/daddy is doing their job. No matter how far away that job takes them. In my opinion that deserves some respect too. No, it isn't the same. But that doesn't mean it isn't difficult, or important. I definitely don't mean to downplay or cast a shadow on the responsibility and importance of the spouse that serves in the military. They have the hardest job of all. I just feel like as people inquire about what we are about to do, they seem to forget that there is a wife, and a child involved as well.
With what I am about to embark on, I have a feeling I will gain a new respect for spouses that spend months, and years apart from their loves. And have to answer the questions to their children about why Daddy or Mommy isn't there again, for whatever event is going on. Even if it is just a relaxed Saturday afternoon.
But with all of that weight, and stress. Comes great pride. A pride that when thought about, already moves me to quiet tears.
I'm excited to become part of this world. But that does not mean that I take this "duty" lightly.
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